i have a problem with writing and that problem is me.
i think i have thought about writing this blog for the last month and a half. i said to myself – “i am going to write once a week!” i made a promise to myself to do so – had inspired moments walking down NYC streets – where i could say a nice, positive, internal “yes!” to my ideas and my path – and yet, i have not blogged. i spent a lot of time i looking at other blogs, customizing this blog, reading other blogs, and genuinely feeling like i had nothing to say. nonetheless – i became an escape artist of my own life and dreams.
wow, you are thinking. wow this sounds drastic: “she hasnt blogged, so therefore shes a sellout?”
no, thats not the point. the blog is like a symtom of the larger problem, a branch on a tree. its a way that i get inspired, have AHA moments, and then retreat back to my low self, my inner Eeyore (http://dollface79.bravepages.com/pbear/eeyore.html) and i let myself go.
other classic examples:
ill miss yoga class with the excuse im too tired
i wont clean my house
i wont take time to take care of myself – as in do my hair, make sure im dressed in a way that i find stylish, makeup. whats makeup?
i will avoid conversations with people that i know i need to have
ill tell myself “just not the right time”
i wont run but i would love to be thinner
i want to meditate – everyday. but do i?
i have a heartful of ideas and goals and dreams – but i am not necessarily on the path to complete them.
the list goes on. but you can see, its not about the blog. its about me and my commitment and my faith in myself. and the daily up and down, in and outs i go through – is what this blog will be about going forward.
